May take time. Fortunately I’ve never been in a dead bedroom but I explored that sub a while back out of curiosity. Seems to fuck people up. I’m surprised you lasted 8 years in one. Your current behavior may just be remnants from your past. You said yourself that it is perfectly logical reasons. It’s definitely normal to not feel like it all the time, and it sounds like he’s interested in you, just not under certain personal circumstances. I wouldn’t make him feel bad or stress him out when he says no. That may be counter productive to what you want, you don’t want him to start having negative associations with sex. Instead of him saying just no because he doesn’t feel like it, or an enthusiastic yes, he will now have a flow chart and risk management going through his head every time you approach him with it. You may just need to learn acceptance that it is normal to not want to have it at any given minute, and that this relationship is most definitely different than your last one.