t’s been over 5 years since I’ve discovered that I very likely have a case of this disorder.

And last week was the first time I actively attempted to reach out for therapists. I’ve barely had any responses despite me emailing multiple people, and finally only one person had replied; and that’s the person with whom I’ve had my initial session with (where I kind of opened up on a few things and she just asked questions; nothing else).

I’m not optimistic to be very frank, as I’ve gradually spiralled into being in a state where I’ve given up completely and am on the verge of taking the train. And this therapist says that she would be taking a non-diagnostic approach that I’m not sure would help me at all, but again, she was the only one who responded to my emails.

It’s already very hard to get any therapists in my area, so I’m constrained with doing online based therapy. And I’m not sure if this would help me at all, given the possibly irreparable damage I’ve done in my life already. Sigh, I don’t know why I’m even trying this, but whatever.