Been there. Unfortunately, your confusion is mixed up with a lot of other feelings so its tough to analyze. All I can say is there's a big difference between feelings a 15-year-old develops for a boy and feelings a 26-year-old develops for a man. Also, your confusion is probably affecting the situation more than you realize. I would wager a guess that stable guy would be more ambitious if he had more confidence... you seeing another man behind his back is not going to help that.

Why not help him with his career? Lift him up and raise him to new levels of confidence and inspiration? Take a cue from women like Dee Devlin. Success in finance or relationships doesn't come without hard work and sacrifice... it can be tempting to start fresh but that won't fix any problems, just exchange for different problems.

Either way leading them both on won't help anyone, most especially not your own self-esteem. If he's still in the dark about your unfaithfulness, stable guy can subconsciously pick up on your indecisiveness and likely won't want to over-commit to someone who hasn't fully committed to him. I know lots of men who come off as non-ambitious when really they are scared of diving deeper into a supportive role with a woman who can't give back as much as she takes.

I say pick yourself and ask what it is you want out of a relationship. How much financial security from a man do you need? Should that even factor into your decision of whom to love in 2017? Is love fantasy-based or reality-based for you? But most importantly... if stable guy has 'a good job'... and he loves you like a best friend... and you know it can work with him... what's the problem exactly? Sounds like you found a good one already without all the extra flights and work. Maybe leave the Englishman fantasy for the Korean music students. If he was so special to you, you wouldn't even be asking.