I don't know sometimes I don't bother. The only thing that sucks is the social pressure and shaming if you don't visit on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mothers or Fathers day, or any fucking special day that triggers memories of a fucked up childhood.
Not one of them came to any team sport game that I ever played even though I was the starting running back on our varsity football team.
Never showed to one single basketball game although I made varsity starting shooting gaurd as a sophomore and was handpicked to play AAU, and select teams in Dallas.
Was an advanced placement student throughout middle and high school. They never spoke to my teachers and never looked at ANY report cards.
Couldn't EVER get a ride from them anywhere and if they did it seemed odd because it was such a rarity (to the point where my friends parents and our coaches would ask me, "how come your parents never come?). I genuinely never knew why.
Didn't show up to my graduation which at that point I just got depressed and my self esteem and self worth went out the window.
When I joined the military, after basic training there was a ceremony held for all of us who made it through boot camp immediately after FTX (some of you know what I'm talking about). While most every other soldiers families showed up, mine did not. To add insult to injury one of my best friends family DROVE from Dallas to Ft Benning, Georgia to visit me for the ceremony. Un..fucking...believable.
In my mid twenties, I practiced my ass off as a music major playing guitar (jazz) as my instrument of study and developed a very good ear for production and composition. I applied to the Berklee College of Music and was accepted but without money or credit tuition was the issue. I needed a co-signer. Well you guessed it. Even after presenting my production portfolio and compositions to my mother to see if she would co-sign for me she said no without batting an eye so in a way I kind of gave up on it. The thing that pissed me off about all of this is that she and my father were just never interested in anything I did. Not even after busting my ass doing all of this shit.
Again, I'm not whining. I'm a hard working motherfucker. I lift, I make just under 100k right now just 3 years into my current field after 3 promotions. I started this job entry level @ $18.50/hr and I'm still on the rise. Obviously nothing was EVER given to me. It just hurts when you look back at your childhood and realize that your parents were basically neglecting you and gave no fucks. One day I even asked my mother why she never showed up to any of my games or anything and she said, "well you never invited me." Complete blame shift but what are you going to do guys?
Suffice it to say that me and my family were extremely dysfunctional and have no strong bond. No birthday parties, no eating dinner as a family at the dinner table, trips to anywhere, nothing. Sadly, I had all of those experiences with other families. Looking back I now realize that that fucked me up pretty badly for quite some time. Don't get me wrong; a lot of this can be viewed as superficial but in reality there needs to be some level of cohesion in your family for you and it to grow properly. There's a lot of unspoken resentment that my brothers and I have for them but oh well too bad so sad.