Stunning image by Rob Jacobs

I got this. Here's your answer, but I feel that it got a little off-track somehow:

The kid needs to walk up to a guard and exercise some personal responsibility (bootstraps) by announcing his decision to return to Mexico (virtue signaling). Once the guard inexplicably lets him out on a whim, the kid can head south - avoiding the Starbucks and the sinful temptation of avocado toast, which has ruined so many young lives. God will watch over this kid, providing both trials and resources (prosperity gospel). The kid can then join up with one of the many caravans of American citizens headed south of the border for medical care (The American healthcare model being a good example of jam tomorrow). Once in Mexico, the youth's exemplary moral character and fortitude will be showcased as he overcomes every challenge - drugs, gangs, and pirates. After twenty years of adventure in Mexico, the youth is now a manly man in his thirties - the same age that Jesus was when Jesus began preaching. Unknown to him, his parents have settled into a nearby Mexican town, and the now-successful son is tearfully reunited with his aged parents. It's an ~American~ success story. See? Everything works out for the best. Never mind the legion of villains in the background.

These sorts of fairy tales have their place and their popularity. I feel like I wrote a bestselling novel just now. Who knew that it was just this easy?

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