Most on here have never said that. Being critical does not automatically mean women are wrong for doing it, hell, it doesn't even mean you can't enjoy it. Do you think that all the women in here don't have sex? There are a number of heterosexual women who contribute, who have male sex partners, and are even happily married (which is, gasp a patriarchal institution!) ... and they still are able to criticize marriage & bring up the problems with it. I know i do & I'm married.
I also had a lot of life experiences, including making bad choices, but I am the first one to reflect back & point out the conflicts with my actions vs feminism. I actually think if more people seperated their personal feelings & experiences from analyzing political stances, activism, or social group, they would be able to achieve greater critical thinking skills when it comes to understanding other people. That's not to say that objective view points aren't as valuable, because personal experience shapes who we are & how we see the world around us. It's a delicate balance to maintain.
Unless you're in the mind set that women aren't influenced by a patriarchal society or oppressed by it, then there should be no misunderstanding that when we discuss something, we also examine it's roots. If we just dismissed eveything as choice, then nothing would be able to be critized.
Anal sex has indeed been engaged in by people willingly, but if I remember right, it's participation level for women, was always under 10% - that includes any anal play. After the popularity & "normalization" in porn, I believe it was over 40%. Not even in the free sex and love decade, was there such a jump.
Compare that to say, pubic hair. Removing it wasn't something women did until it became standard in porn. In what started as something to show off more to a camera, we ended up with an expectation. Now a woman would be highly critized for having pubic hair. I don't like sharing personal info, but I'll make an exception. At 15 the internet was still young, but you could get porn. I started to see porn, which was shown to me by a group of teenage boys. Though I wasn't sexually active with my bf, it was still influencial enough for me to actually shave it all off. At that time - NO ONE DID YET - not my age at least. I remember going to a sleep over, telling my gfs & them laughing at me. They asked "bald, like a baby? Why?!?" So this couldn't even be said as a peer/ girl influence. I've been lazy off & on, more so now, but never have stopped. I don't know if i can because tmi - it's 15 years of hair exposed to shaving. When it's discussed, I don't take that personal. I know why I do it & that pornography was the root. Having to continue is imtertwined with oppression & patriarchal culture's expectation. That doesn't change my actions, that I "prefer" not having hair now, or make me feel infantile. I actually appreciate it being acknowledged.
It can be difficult to both acknowledge the actions we comply in, or even enjoy. No one wants to think they've been "tricked" into something, or that our free will is compromised... however, living in any society is going to influence humans. We live in a patriarchal one, so many practices would have derived from that. Trying to rationalize by pointing out historical anecdotes or animal behavior, often distracts from radical feminism is being critical of where we are now & how we got here, which has to do with women exsisting in a male dominated culture. It's existed that way for so long, obviously things will seem natural to be the way they are.
Throughout the longevity of history, women didn't have the chance at real choice with sex, relationships, fashion choices, education, religious beliefs, government, etc So women's influence is sorely lacking. The word husband literally came from breeding - husbandry. By controlling our sexuality, reproduction could be controlled - which gave man the power to expand their culture, their power through family ties, etc. The rare times women participated, or rebelled, they experienced consequences, often death. It's only been just short of 100 years since women could vote. Point is, it's been a short amount of time since, compared to the rest of history, to not find actions & behaviors, connected to our oppression. Our sexuality has been shaped by what society allows, even if it appears there's "freedom" & we made progress, even that is clouded by conforming to a popular standard. Like shaving pubic hair, anal sex, and other sexual behaviors, esp those that just happened to start after porn was made more popular, otherwise it wouldn't mimic a media "entertainment", that focuses on the male sexuality & gaze.