It completely destroys everyone who loves you. My brother committed suicide at 20 when I was 16 in 2016. My entire family has been broken ever since. We all have huge problems with mental health, socialization, and relationships. Our brains aren't the same as they used to be, trauma actually can eat away a segment of your brain. We are not the same people and we are very cynical and numb. I have terrible memory now, nothing of childhood, my mind has actually blocked out my brother's body. My sister had a suciide attempt at 13 a few months after his death. I have ended up in the psychiatric emergency room a few times. I've been in the lowest of the low when it honestly is terrifying when your only thought is suicide. I remember not being able to switch my thinking into anything else. But I'm getting better, I'm not suicidal anymore. But I really struggle in general happiness and socialisation when those were two things I used to be great at. It's the worst feeling hearing your happy mother be miserable and talking about wanting to die herself.