Hi. I can't answer most of all that really though can relate to most of it in varying degrees.

So to state what is most obvious to me. Rationalization is not the same thing as Truth. A good mentor I follow just told me this the other day; you can rationalize anything, but there is only one truth. I'm still staggering from that implication, even having known John 14:6 prior to that. I don't mean to evangelize (sp?) because I neither know nor understand any of the gospels. But that Gospel of John in no unspecific terms shows the difference between rationality and Truth. It's as wide a difference at least as between light and dark (the Greek used in John 1 is skotia).

I have felt I was "stagnating" a lot as well my whole life. Whether rushing around "trying to get my life together", sitting back and enjoying it, watching it pass me by... Etc. No matter what that feeling is overwhelming. More so the more active I became ironically. Anyway I can't really say much more. Just wanted to point out there is a difference between what is rational and what is true. The gospel of John shows truth is transcendant. Rationality, isn't. Someone more versed in logic or gospel could say it better. But it's the lesson I'm trying to come to grips with myself!

Anyway hope that helps. If not, ignore it. I can't speak for the other gospels for example. Only in John does the red letter say it is the Truth (it also says all the others are theives and liars). So I'm no expert. Just thought that might help overcome "rationality"... Something I'm struggling with as well (it's more letting it go than trying to fight fire with fire I'm finding). Well hell I'll admit I had a dream where Jesus explicitly outright rebuked my "refuge in intellect" haha.