While I agree and feel for you that suicide isn't selfish, it robs you of the great and wonderful things you could experience in the future. Believe me, I attempted it in high school and am glad my attempt failed. All around me people were telling me to "get over it" and "stop being such a pussy" etc.. Teachers, people who I thought were friends, other kids at school, other adults, even my family never understood how I felt. Suicide is not selfish, but it's self-defeating to the max. Think of all the things you could do to prove to yourself how valuable you really are. You can't do it if you're dead...think about it. From my experience, from that time back in my past to right now..I am at a much better spot than about 95% of those who kept edging me. It goes to show you with hope and perseverance and unconditional love for yourself and others are the best paths towards happiness and a great future. Stay strong, my friend. I believe in you <3