So I’ve been having some thoughts that I need to let out. My gf and I have been talking about marriage and kids and I know that she’s anxious for it all to happen since we’re both passing 30 soon. Marriage isn’t a problem but kids sound fucking terrifying to me. I’ve given up most of my youth for my career (literally I’ve been on the training path since I was 17 and I still have at least 5 years to go). The thought of giving up my middle age and adulthood raising children just makes me want to scream, like there’s no time in my life that can just be mine. I had one year where I just worked a normal job and only had myself to care about. I still reminisce about that time. Meanwhile, the biological clock is ticking so something has to happen soon. It’s probably something that I want to happen eventually but I just can’t but it’s not like I can tell her to wait forever.