Well what choice do I have but to "focus on myself/work/studies" as has always been the case? It's not like I have a life or anything else to really look forward to. Lol. I've wasted too much time being miserable and/or simply having no idea what to do and/or constantly failing at a personal level. Has resulted in my lack of focus/motivation/progress at work too. Lol it's all a mess. Whatever maybe I'm expecting too much to lead a "normal life".. it's too late anyway for some of my hopes to come true. I didn't think I was asking for too much but never realized I was gonna be even without friends n moral support for an indefinite period of time. I like being independent, I hate my loneliness. Gotta get used to it I guess.