Eh, I've already had my time to be angry and I've had that anger justified by many sources; there is a lot I didn't say in this post because the focus is not on the event, it's on the resurfacing of trauma and the activation of PTSD that I am trying to cope with. The event was given for context but not for judgement calls. What's important to me is that he knows he fucked up in a lot of ways, has acknowledged his responsibility and apologized sincerely to me in person. These things have already been discussed.

I find it easier to heal through forgiveness, both of myself and the situation. Past me has already learned that holding on to pain and resentment only leads to further degradation in my mental state. I've already hurt my fair share of people by allowing anger to dominate how I feel and I really, really can't live like that anymore. Life is not black and white, it's a messy shithole at the best of times - everyone makes mistakes. Hell, I made the mistake of allowing this to continue. There's more than one person at fault here. What matters is how you recover from making those mistakes, both for yourself and for the people you've wronged.

I appreciate your concern. But right now what I'm trying to focus on is being kind to myself, not fixating on what I can't change, and moving forward.