[Support] My partner's (32M) child (8F) has... difficult feelings concerning me (24F). (Long)

I think he's just as much at a loss as myself when it comes to her. How can you politely address the way someone is looking at you? It's difficult because I don't want people policing my facial expressions, so I don't want to be all over my BF to police her expressions. Often, when incidents occur, I wait until privacy to address them, so next time we see her, it would be unfair to spoil that time because of something that happened last week, so we're both feeling pretty impotent.

I know that the issue about the divorce is valid. I'm certainly not pleased about my love is legally bound to another woman, but there are certain issues that I, a lover of logic, can't ignore. Our state isn't very big on parental rights that aren't the mother's, and he would NEVER get custody as is. He works with family under the table and cannot claim that income, so on paper, he's unemployed, and the home we rent isn't a legal rental property - it's a legal home up to code, but it has to do with taxes and zoning laws - so as far as anyone knows, he's couch surfing and still using his mother's address. I'm a lucky gal and have a P.O. box.

If there are ways to circumvent our obvious poverty in the eyes of the court, we're all ears. BM is very difficult - has called the police on the grandparents during agreed upon visit time because she found out he had a girlfriend sort of difficult - so she will do everything in her power to maintain rigid control over her child, such as threatening SD's time with her grandmother is she is displeased. She has told BF to take SD on the weekends during the week then refuses visitation come the weekend. She desperately wants me out of the picture, so any court proceedings will be messy. She was less concerned about BF when he was dating someone his mother disliked, but my acceptance by the extended family seems to have a stark air of finality to it. She dumped her boyfriend and went from promising to re-file to being a psycho and saying that I was an ugly homewrecker despite the fact that I entered the picture well after the separation became legal. Sorry about the little rant. I'm ranty-pants today.

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