Yup no problem. So was a fraternity man in college at CMU didn’t drink before then, kept it mostly in check but once I got out of college was on my own. I didn’t have support system and anyone close to me thought of me as a tough guy who could always take care of myself. Never had a father (white, not that it matters) so I was always the head of the house and so everyone just thought I had it together and I did for a long time. The point is when you lose your support system and when people see you as a strong male they just assume you’ll be ok as society does. I fell into a deep loneliness and depression and no one knew because I kept up he strong male facade that I had since I was 14 (when dad left). Little does my family know that when my dad left my mom had no money so I had to sell weed coke etc on the side to support my family. Not the usual case in family’s but I feel alcoholics have the common story of loss of normalcy at a later age. Long story short after college I got a great job, great apartment, but it wasn’t enough to fill the void of having purpose and belonging. After he divorce I ran to weed which got me though high school and when I joined the frat I turned to alcohol. When I graduated my support system assumed I’d be fine because that’s the facade I kept up. Long story shot my company went through constant lay offs after I graduated and I turned to the bottle because it numbed my pain. Wound up drinking the equivalent of 14 fifths in 7 days after a binge weekend said I was “sick” for work and wound up in the hospital puking up blood and having my liver, kidney, and appendix shut down. Long story shot of your suffering from alcoholism it’s not a joke. As the great Mitch Hedberg said it’s the only disease people judge you for having. Fuck them go get help and don’t go to AA that’s a bunch of religious BS that won’t help you. See a therapist and get down to the real reason of your addition. In my case it was my mother and father abusing us as children and over been sober for almost a year now. Get help, don’t be proud and learn to love yourself. DM me if you need supportou people who have been through it can understand don’t listen to anyone else the can’t even imagine what we go through.