So many victims of childhood abuse never experience unconditional love, therefore most can't really even define it, much less give or receive it.

Yes, that is so true. Genuinely unconditional love is incredibly hard to find.

It's so great to see that very much of it was due to you showing him the true definition of unconditional love and waiting very patiently on him to discover how to give it back to you.

I am glad that our story was of some hope to you! It was a hard thing, and at one point in the midst of it all, my darling looked at me, as I said I had forgiven him for [the thing he was doing to me]. He stared at me in disbelief. He said, "But if you forgive me, and stay with me, then that means you're giving me the power to do that to you again." I smiled and said, "I know." It would be cool to be able to say that that woke him up, but it didn't. :) Years more passed.

The decision I had to make was whether or not I would love him, even if nothing ever changed. Even if he could never love me back at all. If every day of my life was worse than the previous day.

And I chose to do so. I swore to him when we married that I would love him for the rest of our lives. He could not make me break that oath.

But it isn't a dating or relationship thing. It's because someone broke me as a child and I had to learn to protect myself.

Yes, and I understood that. Even when he was doing his level best to make me stop loving him, so that he could confirm what he had learned as a child, even when I knew without a doubt that he did not even care enough about me to hate me, I knew this.

I watch people's expressions and nonverbal signals, and I analyze there words and more as a way to protect myself.

I have always been completely open and honest with him, even before we married. In fact, that is part of what made him take the chance on marrying me. I told him that I did not play games, that what I said was what I meant--and I proved it.

Your husband was super courageous

He most certainly is!