[Taken from AskMen] What episodes from your sexual history make your cringe the hardest?

  1. Randy Rub-a-Dub-Dub Before you make love, take a bath together. Prepare the bathroom beautifully beforehand with fluffy towels and candles. Then put two drops of patchouli oil, three drops of sandalwood oil, and three drops of lavender oil into your bathwater. Patchouli and sandalwood are two scents that aromatherapists believe awaken sensuality, while the lavender is thought to induce relaxation. The combination of scents and warm-water sensations will completely prime your bodies — and minds — for a truly sensual and erotic experience. —Nitya Lacroix, author of The Art of Tantric Sex (DK Publishing, 1997)

  2. Pocketful of Pleasure When he's least expecting it, tell your man you need some change. Then stick your hand in his pocket and start rubbing his penis through the fabric, pretending that you're really digging around for that coinage you need. When he's good and hard, whisper something Mae West-ish in his ear like, "Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" He'll practically bust out of his pants. —Susan Block

  3. Unhand Your Man Give your man a massage without using your hands. Before you begin, slowly undress your partner, but make sure that he stays warm. (If the room isn't toasty enough, cover him with towels or sheets.) Then, keeping your hands at your side or behind your back, stroke his body (all except for his penis) with your face, hair, and breasts. Once he's totally relaxed, rub your breasts against his penis and he'll happily rise to the occasion. —Nitya Lacroix

  4. Heavenly Heartbeat To feel more connected in bed, tune into each other's heart rate. Lay your hand on his chest, and have him do the same. You might be surprised how easily you can become synchronized. Since heart rate speeds up during orgasm, if you stay hand-to-heart connected while you do it, you'll feel how wild you're driving each other. —Barbara Keesling, author of Discover Your Sensual Potential (HarperCollins, 1999)

  5. Putting on the Ritz You know how hotel sex is always extra-hot? Try re-creating that away-from-home atmosphere in your own bedroom. First, purge your room of any family photos or office equipment. Then buy sheets with the highest threads-per-inch count you can find (look for 200 and above), which feel supersilky to the touch without the cheesiness of satin. Invest in some thick, fluffy robes to lounge around in. And for the ultimate hotel-style indulgence, set up a tray of champagne and finger foods to savor after you make love. You'll both feel like you're on an incredible vacation from the rest of the world. —Ellen Kreidman, author of The 10 Second Kiss (Renaissance, 1998)

  6. Pop His Cork Try the oral-sex technique that I call The Screw. As you're moving up his shaft with your mouth, turn your head a bit from side to side, letting your tongue follow a corkscrew pattern. When you get to the frenulum — that part of the shaft just beneath the head — be sure to lick it for a few seconds before moving all the way up to the top. Then repeat, moving down his shaft. What will drive him wild about this is that you aren't just going up and down — you're also going sideways. It's 3-D! —Paul Joannides, author of The Guide to Getting It On (Goofy Foot Press, 1999)

  7. Let Go — Loudly! When you're sexually excited, really express yourself. Let yourself go in whatever way feels most comfortable. Scream your head off, laugh, shout his name — whatever you have the urge to do. If you're embarrassed, just know that you're doing your partner a favor. The more you express your pleasure, the more you make him feel like the stud of the universe. Bonus: Your orgasms will be even more powerful if you really let 'er rip vocally. —Susan Block

  8. Toy with Him Stock up on some sex toys. Velvet-lined handcuffs can be exciting, and they don't hurt like the metal ones do. Silk blindfolds build a sense of suspense — which can be really titillating. And you can never go wrong with a vibrator. Ask him to buzz it against your clitoris or tell him simply to sit back and watch you handle it. It will feel amazing for you, and he'll be turned on just by seeing you so turned on. —Susan Block

  9. Eyes Wide Open Don't close your eyes during sex. This is a great way to explore more of the emotional side of intercourse. Start by kissing with your eyes open and looking at each other during foreplay. Gradually build up until you can sustain eye contact throughout both of your climaxes. You'll experience your orgasm in a totally different way. It's a revelation. —Barbara Keesling

  10. Hot Dog! Before giving him oral sex, position yourself so you're sitting to the side, almost perpendicular to his penis. Cup your hand around his member, creating a "bun" around his "hot dog." Then kiss the part of his penis that's exposed while breathing hard. Your hand will trap your exhalations and make his member feel superhot. With your other hand, work his testicles. He'll think he has died and gone to heaven. —Paul Joannides

  11. Tantalizing Turn-Around Face his legs instead of his face when you're on top. (Hold on to his feet for balance.) He'll get a great view of your backside — a surefire turn-on. And if his erection points out instead of up, this position will feel especially incredible to him. —Paul Joannides

  12. The Kiss Connection Share a passionate 10-second kiss every single day. A lot of couples keep having sex but stop really kissing. And that's a shame, because it's such a wonderful, intimate act. So just go up and lay one on him. Instantly, you'll feel passionate instead of platonic. What a rush! —Ellen Kreidman

  13. Bare Boogie You don't have to have a model-perfect body to have maximum fun in the bedroom. Look at yourself naked in a full-length mirror for five minutes a day and focus on what you love about your body. If this feels awkward, turn on some music and dance naked with your mirror image. By getting used to your unique shape, you'll gain confidence that will naturally spill over into your sex life and make you twice as enticing to your guy. —Barbara Keesling

  14. Sultry Slo-Mo To surprise him and build anticipation, try doing the same things you always do in the bedroom, but slow down to one-fourth of your normal speed. You and your guy will have time to really bond, and since you'll be feeling sensation over a longer period of time, both your orgasms will likely be out of this world. —Barbara Keesling

  15. Don't Wait to Exhale You can actually use your breath to control your orgasm. With each exhalation, imagine that you're pushing the satisfying sensations throughout your body — instead of just letting them build up below the waist. When you finally let go, you'll feel the orgasm from head to toe. —Nitya Lacroix

  16. Finger-Food Foreplay Have a romantic dinner without utensils so you can feed each other. There's something sensual about placing food in your partner's mouth. It's such fun — especially when you serve stuff that's not supposed to be eaten with your hands, like salads or pasta. After a meal like this, serve yourself for dessert. —Ellen Kreidman

  17. Strut Your Stuff The next time you go out with your man, wear your sexiest outfit. Go ahead — flirt with strangers and turn some heads. Tease. It's easy to forget you're still attractive to other members of the opposite sex when you're in a committed relationship. But sometimes you have to remind your guy that you're a prize, not an appendage. It really turns most guys on to know they have someone other men want to be with. And it can be a tremendous ego boost for you, too. When you feel sexy, you are sexy. Once you return home from your diva-date, you won't be able to keep your hands off each other. —Susan Block

  18. Grab and Go If you're turned on at an inopportune time, act on your feelings. Although it feels a little bit naughty, a quickie will help you stay faithful. People often have affairs solely for the illicit rush from doing something "bad." Quickies allow you to experience all of the having-an-affair thrill with none of the cheating. —Ellen Kreidman

  19. Jeans Jiggy Encourage your man to touch you when you have your favorite tight jeans on (and don't let him take them off). His hand can glide over your crotch more easily, and the material will transmit the sensations over a wider area. —Paul Joannides

  20. Pillow Power Great sex is all about angles — the angle of his erection and your pelvis determine exactly what hot spots he'll hit and how tightly he'll feel gripped. That's why pillows can be passion's best friend. Try one under his butt while you're on top or supporting your tailbone in the missionary position. Or use a few to prop yourself up when lying on a counter. And don't be afraid to experiment with odd-size cushions, too. You'll be surprised how many new sensations you both experience just by adding a pillow. —Paul Joannides

So we must ask, is cosmo the real troll or is it the tumblr people or is it us?

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