Talking About My Awakenings

A new year with new college roommates that held more conversation than Hello/Goodbye, I realized other people could be very very different.

Likely you're brain is still developing (<25) and it sounds like you are figuring some important social and life things out. Good.

It struck me that this was the true basis of conversation. Throwing stones into a fog. How and what bounced back must constitute the shape of the person you were talking to, their essence.

I got something more powerful for you. Instead of trying to "figure out" someone else or trying to manufacture the conversation, pursue the path of true intimacy. Focus on letting down your guard and sharing your heart. There will be many projections, but see what goes beyond projection.

She's very submissive and often said she'd do whatever I asked.

It takes two to tango. When you separate everything into yin and yang, then yin requires yang and vice versa. Someone who wants to be submissive, pulls others to be dominant. In reality there isn't really a submissive or a dominant. There is only the submissive-dominant relationship. With certain people more attracted to one side of the coin. Everything is relational. It's only the mind that falsely projects separate concepts.

I started with prodding about things I didn't like

A natural consequence of your basic yin-yang relationship. From there the relationship flies off the rails because of both parties unconscious neediness from a lack of wholeness.

I would pick fights and upset her just so she'd remember never to do something again.

Hurt people hurt people. She wasn't perfect. You weren't perfect. Don't go too far overboard with self-flagellation. It's not helpful nor completely honest.

The rest, well good luck. Be careful about always trying to put things into a neat story.

Boy gets girl. Boy neglects/mistreats girl. Boy loses girl. Boy realizes he made a mistake and engages in heroic effort to win her back. Boy and girl get back together, happily ever after.

Life is much more complicated than a simple story. Good luck and remember that story doesn't really exist in the present moment. Appreciate yourself, your life, and appreciate other living beings trying to find happiness.

I was taking someone who was very highly compatible with me and instead of loving her.

Completely untrue. You wouldn't have broken up if this true. Don't lie to yourself. Compatible people don't break up. If that's not true, than "Compatible" is meaningless as a word. You believed her to be highly compatible. Reality showed that you're two selves in the moment were not compatible. Accept what is true now.

/r/awakened Thread