So I have an slightly unpopular opinion. I have a TBM hubby still and he wants my kids baptized. I compromised and said at the age of Legal Consent they can CHOOSE whatever they want. Then when I spoke to my family an his I said this "Please feel free to share you beliefs with the children but Never move to correct their beliefs as they develop and question and never intervene if you think they are making lifestyle choices contrary to your beliefs (i.e. Language, love, and modesty)." They will attend church EVERY time they choose to and stay home EVERY time they choose to. They will be nonmembers and therefore won't participate in member only things like callings and temple interviews etc. I have a lot of boundaries set up that protects their choices but not what they hear about other people's beliefs. I have even sent a firm letter to the bishop and have been in open communication with him and he has been super respectful

Now I know for a fact that my wishes will be danced around as much as fricken possible by everyone with a chance to "convert" my kids. I know they will receive secret lessons, perhaps even be cornered by missionaries. By allowing my children to hear testimonies and beliefs I will be the only one who is speaking to them regularly that is not mormon. I know that during their Santa Claus phase, Jesus will not be debunk able and unless they ask me to, I will not.

The thing is... I truly believe they will not join the church.

I know what the church teaches, unless they change a LOT of things they will always be lies to expose, charity they withheld for profit, members they ostracize. Not to mention the history that I will share with my girls and the temple videos they will watch before being baptized. There is too much that without the context of shame and guilt to believe, which they will not get from me, that will destroy the church in their minds. I also will be teaching them feminism, equality, secular humanism, charity, etc. I will be taking them on epic lady retreats with my three non mormon sisters, I plan on doing awesome outings in nature two of the four Sundays a month and offering my children to join me. I spend hours of my day cultivating respect through gentle parenting (I'm trying anyway, I'm still learning about it and figuring out how to balance it with mental illness).

What I'm getting at is that anger will create barriers. If your parents were always fighting over a single topic then you would be afraid to approach them about it, even to discuss. Create another, obvious, "church" for them to pursue with you and your Mom could literally take them to the river and force them to dunk and they still would be safe.