I'll toss in a "not a __, but" comment to get things rolling.

In highschool, a campus supervisor caught me like a second off from blowing my load on someone's face.

We had been fooling around backstage - which was a fine idea at the time, because we did that on a weekly basis with no consequences. Well, today we've stowed away in a dressing room, for extra freaky potential. Again, something we'd done many times before. We turn the couches against the wall for partial cover.

Now to our surprise, two people actually walk in. One of them is a hardcore bible-thumping girl that I knew, who was instantly mortified. The girl I'm with, caught with her shirt off but her pants on, makes the split second decision to hop up and begin a dialogue about being in the middle of changing. I pop my stupid head up, too, which probably blew her cover somewhat.

The girls leave. After a tense few moments, me and the girl return to doing the do. We're gettin' real into it - and I ask if I might be allowed to finish on her face, which she agrees to. So we're there, doing the thing porn wank as we prepare to settle this orgasm and skedadle. I'm up in some serious vinegar strokes, here, with a big ridiculous boner to match.

But something's wrong. A door, maybe? The sensation of movement. I throw my dick in my pants and zip up in 2 seconds flat, pretend to be very interested in the dressing room mirror. This teacher walks in - holy shit, she's so pissed! Red face, flush, she's yelling. Outside the dressing room we go.

Now she's yelling at us in the hallway. But my penis, bro of bros that it is, had deflated itself the moment I stowed it in my pants. The adrenaline probably helped. So I'm getting yelled at in this hallway and I realize hey, my dick's all floppy. Our clothes were on. This lady doesn't have shit on us! I start acting all innocent, denying everything. "But it's hot miss, and we just wanted to get out of the shade."

Eventually the lady realizes she has no ammo, and lets us go. I didn't learn my lesson in the slightest and continued to have sex on campus at every opportunity. I feel like I was a little scummy in retrospect, but you take the opportunities where you can get them. That lady knew exactly what was going on, too.