This is going to get buried since I'm so late and I haven't thought about it in a while but my one student who I was a mentor to took his life 3 years ago.

It was my first year teaching, taught art to 800 kids, 26 different classes a week. The day before it happened, he was in trouble and I was went to go see him, he was 11 but could see right through your soul. I didn't really know how to connect with kids well at the time and sometimes couldn't confront them about difficult topics. I asked why he's in trouble... usually he would talk about music and his future and interests. Today he said "can you just take me to my class?" I did. I walked by him in the long hallway

My room was coming up. I bitched out. I didn't ask him to step inside so I can ask more questions... instead he walked in front and led me down the hallway. So it wasn't so much what he said...but that silence we shared as we walked will forever haunt me.

It fucked me up.

Stayed all next week with his family at the ICU until they finally had to pull the plug. I sometimes think about it and just cannot relate to people when I recall the pain.