I think I was about 19. I was self destructing pretty hard back then. One of those young people who don't think of their future because they are haunted by their past. One of my friends suggested we get drunk and I was like "Hell yeah!" Vodka was my drink of choice back then...the cheaper the better.

So I'm completely drunk off my ass, slurring my words, falling over..the whole bit. I'm laying on the couch (just so happens to be my apartment) and this boy comes over and lays on top of me. I do NOT remember his name. I don't even remember why he laid on top of me. There were a lot of people in the room with us so I didn't worry about getting assaulted or anything, but buddy boy was whispering naughty things in my ear the entire time. I honestly don't remember what was said though.

Shortly thereafter this guy (we'll call him Joel) pulled him off me to ask him if he wanted to get more booze. The poor kid looked torn. "No I'm fine here." He insisted.

Ever the enthusiastic idiot I screamed, "MORE BOOZE!" or something just as silly. I knew what I was doing. I didn't want a bunch of people to leave to get alcohol and leave me alone with the guy. He was a little too aggressive for me in my weakened state.

Instead Joel sat down on the couch just above my face and "kept an eye" on me while they were gone. Of course, as soon as they all left Joel offered me his lap to rest my head since it would be "more comfortable" then the couch.

Joel was a well known hippy from a hippy family known for smoking who was all about the free love and whatnot. He was a nice guy and really open when it came to existential thinking. But most of all he was not aggressive at all, and sort of shy, so when he started stroking my hair I didn't argue the point.

I think he asked me if it was okay and I said yeah, but even as out of it as I was I couldn't look him in the eye.

Then, to my horror, he said, "Is it okay if I kiss you?" I was SO embarrassed, but when I thought about it I was like....I've never been kissed before. He's a nice boy. I want to know what it's like.

So he leaned down and kiss me while my head rested in his lap.

I liked it so much that I sprang up and sort of attacked his face. I don't remember a whole lot after that, I was drunk after all, but we ended up hiding in my bedroom once everyone came back. We were both so into it that we kept moaning and rolling around in my bed.(clothes on of course) The next morning my lips were bruised.

Good times.