I'm not sure she is, the biggest thing since last year after the whole opening things up thing.. she actually never tried to pursue anything with anyone, which actually bothered me a lot. Poly is probably not for me, it wasn't on my mind for many many years. I only adapted to try and make things work. And yes, I am likely somewhat in love with another person. But I don't like the position I am in, at all.

I kept being lead to believe that things are possible and she claims she didn't see it coming that it could be so intense. Which makes no sense to me, I've been extremely transparent about everything from the beginning. Even warned many times about where it could lead if I kept being in touch with this person. But no, I kept being challenged to ''open my box''.

I want to know what she really wants and needs, I don't want to hear a few years later that suddenly she has a need for something again after now saying it's too much.

Adding other people definitely isn't the way to fix things, or what you should (usually) do when there's some problem. I only started talking to this person when we were in a very good spot again, it just deteriorated after..

I don't even know what to write really, there's so much nuance to the situation. ):