I read the whole thing because you’re worth it. I don’t even know you but you’re a human being with feelings and you seem like a good person from what you’ve written. You’re not worthless!

I’ve experience depression which I’ve covered up with drug abuse. I can completely relate to the feeling of lost/wasted time and I can tell you it only gets worse as you get older. I’d kill to be 25 again just as you’d kill to be 15 again. Time flies as you age. The takeaway is: live for the present! You can’t go back in the past but you can waste your future. Don’t let it happen. Self harm is bad but I feel like substance abuse just further exacerbates the black timeless hole you can get sucked into with depression.

I can’t relate to not being in a relationship or “skin hunger” as you put it as I’ve always had girls and girlfriends since I was 13. But you’ve opened my eyes to how I’ve taken that for granted. I always just assumed there are plenty of men and women out there and someone or several someones for everyone. To not have been kissed or touched by 25 has got to be a hard feeling. But at this point that’s an asset. Guys like “pure” women and you’re as pure as it comes. By 25 many males and females already have a double digit body count. And that’s not something to be proud of. I’m not some abstinence pushing religious conservative but speaking from a male perspective: most men don’t want to wife whores. So not having been with a man is not something to be embarrassed about in your case it’s an asset that many men will find desirable.

Most importantly, don’t give up on yourself. You’re still young and at that age where you can still do anything, be anything and totally reinvent yourself if you want. But don’t stay in this mental rut or you’ll be 35 wishing you could go back to 25 next—twenty years wasted.