That's a really good point. There's definitely a lot of projecting going on with them, too.
With my own PA, I think it was a bit of both. I was always intensely loyal to him, never cheated, never wanted to, I've never used porn, I rarely even masturbate and when I do, it's him I would always think of. And yet, for years he would have these vivid nightmares that I was cheating on him or leaving him, or that he caught me fucking his friends. I could never figure it out...until all of the lies and deceit came out. He was projecting because he knew he was being unfaithful to me. He was afraid that I had a secret double life just like he did. Suddenly it all made sense.
After I found out, I started posting nudes for a while. I figured it was just. He was too busy wanking it to Buffy Bumblefuck or whoever to make me feel desirable so I got the attention I wanted elsewhere and he lost his shit. He's always been extremely territorial and jealous. He couldn't handle seeing me being appreciated by other men. Like did he think he was my only option and I had no choice but to put up with him? I've made it crystal clear to him that I can take my pick of any dude I want and he'd better shape up and be worthy of me or I will ditch him so fast his head will spin. So far he's doing an incredible job but only time will tell.
Anyway, all that rambling just to say you're right and I agree with you.