Thank you for work as an EMT. I can’t imagine doing work like that but I’m grateful for those who do.

My boyfriend was shot and killed in front of our home shortly after I graduated from college. I was in the house at the time; I’m the only witness. Every time there is a shooting, I relive my trauma as well as feel deep pain for the victims and their friends and family. My heart aches for these loved ones left behind. I go through all of the feelings as if my boyfriend’s murder happened recently even though it has been years.

Did you ever discuss what you experienced as an EMT in therapy? It sounds like you experienced trauma in your work. It may have not seemed like trauma at the time but given your current reaction (totally acceptable and extremely relatable), I wonder if seeking therapy with the right therapist (not all are fit for trauma) might be helpful.

Please take good care of yourself. Best advice I’ve ever heard to to treat yourself like you’d treat a good friend.