TFW you're never "that cute guy"

You realise you are contributing to the problem you suffer from, right?

If the problem is that ugly people aren't attracted to one another, then biology is the main cause. So if I'm contributing, then it's not something I have much control over--you admit as much when you say I don't have to be attracted to "fugly people" and that no one is. Ugly is ugly, even to ugly--I've tried to convince myself differently but I can't, and I won't pretend otherwise just because I suffer from the same reality, or because it sounds unkind to say.

you shouldn't be insulted by them finding you attractive, either...

If the person is much less attractive than you are (or past a certain threshold of ugliness), their interest no longer necessarily says anything good about you and probably says bad--that the two of you may be in the same league. When this becomes a pattern, it confirms it. At that point the attraction is not even flattering, it's just a painful reminder of how unattractive you are.

So maybe it's uncharitable of me, but yes, I sometimes find that a little insulting. When extremely ugly people think we'd be a good match, they're saying something about how I look. By way of example, in the past couple of years the only people who have shown attraction to me were three women, all of them older than my mother (30+ years). All of them pursued me based on nothing but a polite/friendly acquaintance on my part. They all believed that I could seriously be interested in a romantic and sexual relationship with them.

One of them is, no exaggeration, mid 60's, obese, balding, missing most of her teeth but doesn't wear dentures, coke-bottle glasses, polyester pants, bad body odor. The rest are better, but still older than me by 30 years and weren't attractive in their youth. Maybe it's uncharitable of me, but yes, I find it insulting that these are the kinds of people who think we'd make a good match, that I should realistically be interested. They're telling me we're in the same league, and what hurts most is they're probably right.

/r/ForeverAlone Thread Parent