Man I don't really give a shit what you think. You're not allowed to torture us or burn us at the stake anymore. You're more afraid than I am.

If I die tomorrow in a great big pileup or a tumultuous natural disaster, you'll tell yourself I had it coming and that you're the chosen one, while ignoring the fact that a lot of believers just like you are snuggled warmly in body bags just like I am.

I like to fish. You have outsourced your thinking to people who would burn me as a witch over the crap in my tackle box. I'm afraid to die, and I'm not afraid of being dead, but I am not afraid of your imaginary friend any more than I am afraid of Harry Potter. I don't tremble with fear at the ramblings of primitive savages who knew less about the world than a third grader.

Maybe you should be a little nicer. If you think there is an all-powerful, all-knowing creator behind this that loves us all, then maybe instead of being a sneering savage you should try to draw me back into the folds of safety. You want to jeer at me. You probably take comfort at the thought of me burning in an endless hellscape. Is that what your perfect and all-knowing creator wants of you? You want to jeer angrily but would you not enjoy that much more of his favor if you brought me into redemption when we approached the gates?

Should you not see me as a refugee to be huddled close as we both slowly make our way towards the bliss promised in the hereafter?

Show up without me. Go ahead. Tell your god I was beyond all saving. Go ahead. It's going to ask you who you are to judge who is beyond all saving. It will find you lazy. Your god will find you angry and jeering at beings like myself, and your efforts to save me will fail to satisfy it. Who can be let into heaven while laughing at those going into hell?

Either I'm right and there is no boss, or you're right and in a lot more trouble than you think. You make yourself a slavering and angry beast for something that probably isn't there, and you crave to see ruin visited on others just because they reject your dogma.

I'm ready to be pleasantly surprised should anything like a god exists, and should it not be a sad disappointment. I don't think there does. But if they do exist, I've got a lot less to fear than you do. They'll be looking for great character, and you're just an idiot who outsourced all his thinking to ancient dogma taken down by people who wiped their asses with their hands.

If I should ever meet such beings I'd put in a good word for you though. More than you'd do for me, and you know it.