There's also a difference between training and fighting. I think a lot of people go into this with a glimmer of hope that this can be a long sustained hobby, an outlet to learn self defense and . I agree with you that it isn't going to be comfortable and that a lot of times "dick moves" are just someone getting beat but I don't think it's unreasonable for a large portion of the population to not want to get physically crushed everyday. I'm not there to be built into an elite competitor, I'm definitely down to have legit all out round on occasion but I have a mentally taxing job, I travel a lot, I have bills and a family. Mat time is great because none of that matters, I'm getting a good workout and I'm challenging myself to get better. Sometimes I don't want to go against the 215 pound former wrestler, that doesn't mean I'm not cutout to train a combat sport.

I'm not going to give someone shit who wants to train boxing fundamentals and hitting a bag but doesn't want to throw on head gear and go spar with someone trying to bash their head in. There are levels of dedication to everything and while bjj is certainly a combat sport, classes are also there to learn, develop and practice what you've learned. Getting crushed by someone trying to feed their ego doesn't need to be a part of it if I don't want it to be.