Ah ok, here's the confusion. This entire time I have tried to stress that these are additive: you are raising a woman to be a good person first, then a good woman. Likewise for men. This is similar to what you suggest in raising your child to just be a good person for 18 years, but we differ where I suggest you interweave guidance in how to be a good woman along with her guidance in being a good person. Remember our overall goal: raising a child in such a way that they are maximally fulfilled in their life. In this way, there really aren't any traits that would be undesireable in a woman that is undesireable in a man and vice versa. A strong, decisive, leader of a woman is great, ideal in fact. You want the same for men and you want them both to learn to cooperate and respect each other. In your case - are you fulfilled? Do you enhance the lives of those around you? Are you fulfilled in your career, relationships, and so on? If so, then yes! That is the only goal: raising people that are fulfilled in their life and enhance the lives of people around them. I think where we must misunderstand (or disagree) is I think a great way to accomplish that goal is first to raise your child in being a good person and interweave that with raising them to be a good man or woman.

That means raising them in such a way that they are able to fully engage that part of their life (important because their sex determines many things from their relationships, to how they are perceived and so on) to find fulfilment (in happy relationships, social status, etc) and to enhance the lives of others.

Now if you could see the future you'd know exactly how to raise an individual to ensure their life was the most individually fulfilling, but you can't, so you have to resort to convenient shorthands. So, beyond raising them to be good people, a second order but very important part of their life is their sex. What did you wish you knew as a woman while growing up? You should instill exactly those woman specific values in your daughter because they will likely encounter similar challenges. Likewise, we should teach our sons man-specific virtues: use your larger physical presense to protect others, stand up for others, (these are important to teach to woman - there is overlap because some of these as mentioned are part of that decent-human-raising aspect, but men specifically are usually larger and should be raised to use that to help others and find fulfillment).

Now you can continue this process, finding third-order and so on factors that influence your child's life, but that's adding to the general principle. A good start is to raise them as good people and to take that a step further by raising them to be good members of their sex.