Not gonna lie, I acted like "her" when my ex gf broke up with me last. There were lots of red flags like her being neurotic, her only friends being guys and one bisexual nympho, refusing to allow me to go into her apartment but being completely fine with coming to my place, and the fact that we never had fights.
She had already broken up with me once over skype (messenger. not even video so it could be semi-personal) with cliche lines like "It's not you, it's me", or "I just don't know what I want". I called her out, blocked her, and went on with my life. I was more pissed off than anything. I'm also pretty sure she had been hooking up with one of her navy friends and decided to date him, hence the breakup. I have reasons for my suspicions, but I'll spare them.
Fast forward:
My mom already had colon cancer a few years ago, and then she almost died of sepsis last spring. We really had no idea if she was going to pull through, but I tried remaining optimistic.
I was in a bad place - and working a shitty minimum wage job vacuuming cars because they never trained me to work up front for tips. A good bit of my paycheck went to going out with her a few times a week.
We planned to spend a few days in NC and get away - just watch movies, play video games, make food, and be with each other. It was the break from stress I needed. What was weird is that even with what came next, she acted (and I mean acted) more excited than me about NC.
While I was in the hospital visiting my mom, I got a Skype message from that bitch again saying "Sorry I can't do this. Bye" and wouldn't respond. I went off on her mad hard this time. I was livid and bloodthirsty with rage. I got really emotional. Unlike the last time, anger quickly subsided into sadness and a hollow sense of being.
My mom was in critical condition. I had wasted 2 years of my life with a fake person wearing a mask. I had a piece of my soul ripped from my being. I didn't know what I did, what I didn't do, or what was wrong with me.
My straight A's in school fell to C's and D's. I quit the car washing job. I began staying in my room all day, playing more video games and watching more tv. I still haven't recovered. As much as I try to convince myself I hate her, she still intrusively breaches my thoughts. My grades are still suffering and I the worst part is I can only watch myself drown. I have no motivation. I have no drive.
I've been lost in my head since she broke up with me. The worst part is I can't build up the confidence to talk to girls that easily to help get over her. She shattered any shred of confidence I had. If she could so callously throw me away without reason, why would anyone else want me? I'm always worried I'll be rejected, so I just don't bother unless a woman makes the first move.
I isolate myself now, hanging out only with one friend and his girlfriend - a daily reminder of what I once had (or thought I had) and lost. I'm just a broken record - listening to the same songs over and over again. Watching the same TV shows over and over again. Doing the same things - day in, day out - in limbo.
Moral of the story kids:
A trick is always a trick. If someone is playing you, don't stand for it. Leave them before they use you more and leave you first. Don't be so ready to take someone back when they've burned you badly.
Auxiliary moral:
And if you're breaking up with someone - yo, it's fine to use one message, but at least give a goddamn reason in that kraft single. No one gets full closure, but that's the closest thing to it.
Opinion:
The image is true of many people being broken up with. While I felt justified in telling her off like the slug I felt she was, I was really just being a whiny pussy and it would have been better to just say nothing and cut her out.
But yo, still hope karma keeps up with her and she falls into the Rancor Pit.