I’m sorry :// I wish I had good advice for you. There have been many times I should’ve been inpatient but I feared for losing my autonomy/independence at home so I didn’t. I had a friend that was hospitalized many years ago and what changed is that their family finally realized how bad it was because they realized they may not have seen their child alive past the Christmas season. I think my friend did lose independence for awhile and it was an extremely difficult time, but they were thankful in retrospect that their therapist made that decision for them. Very circumstantial, just an example.

I hope you find clarity. Lots of hugs to you.