Not a therapist, but seeking and have done therapy. Most experiences were lovely, but 2 things really shook me recently while I have been struggling. (Sorry for the long post)
1) Earlier this year the man I love was diagnosed with a rare brain cancer. Everything is still TBD, but we’ve been very happy together, so processing this is a struggle to say the least. I was seeing an older lady therapist for about 3 sessions and explained my intense emotions and panic attacks, and she felt it was appropriate to question whether this would impact my marriage prospects. Because I was 23 years old. She proceeded to ask me if this was a one-off situation and I could actually build a life with him, or what I realistically was assessing with our future together. Fuck that lady, it was the least helpful thing someone could say. That’s my snuggle butt, I obviously care more than that.
2) I was seeing another therapist for several months and making great progress. My twin relapsed very unexpectedly in opioid addiction, and CPS put my beautiful little niece in foster care until further steps are determined. I’m super, extremely traumatized and heartbroken, for my twin and obviously for my niece whom I love and cherish. I was feeling extreme (and unreasonable) guilt for not dropping everything and becoming a single mother and taking in a very young child. I live with a roommate, boyfriends health is mentioned above, and generally dealing with a lot more than what is mentioned - but I have a stable job and lots of love in my heart. There are other family members who may be better equipped to step in, but it’s all up in the air.
I asked her to help me process and overcome this guilt and my feeling of responsibility to cleaning up my sisters messes. It has been tearing at me because I am not ready to become an unexpected mother to my niece, despite my heartbreak. Therapist said “well honestly, in terms of who should take her in, you’re one of the most qualified people I know.” Therapist told me I should consider it when I was crying over why I can’t.
As much as that’s a compliment, that was also a slap in the face for someone knowing the extent of how I’m struggling.
That being said, therapy is also extremely valuable and provides more than talking to a friend. I’m testing out another option now :)