Therapists who do couples therapy, How often is it clearly one person in the relationship who is the problem?

When me and my ex-fiance went to couples counseling, it was bizarre. The first therapist listened to both of us very patiently, spent about an hour with us, and then pretty bluntly told us we weren't a good match. We broke up that night, got back together, we both cried a lot, did that whole thing. We were out $200 but whatever. The first therapist kinda seemed to be on my side.

My ex then says she wants to see another counselor and how disappointed she was that I gave up on it after one session. I wanted someone to help us fix our problems, not tell us to break up. But I obliged and we went to another counselor.

Same exact situation. Final resolution was to basically break up rather than work through our problems. We end up breaking up, getting back together, etc. Another $200. The second therapist seemed to be more on her side.

It was just so unhelpful. We had VERY basic issues that we refused to agree on - but it wasn't anything that we would've broken up over, if we hadn't gone to couples counseling.

We did break up for good after the second counselor. I don't blame counseling for the breakup, I know we had our problems, but...it would be like going to a psychiatrist for mild anxiety and being told "Oh hell, I don't know, you seem too fucked up to help."

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