I definitely didn't approach the original posting the way I should have, but during a moment of weakness in the midst of a bout of depression, I felt quite hopeless.
As of late, I've tried applying a few methods in managing this. I've been exercising 4 times a week, no refined processed foods, and I've been attempting to keep my mind engaged and involved in at least something challenging to keep me from having excessive time to dwell on my thoughts. I'd say overall, Bipolar disorder has caused some serious damage to my life, as well as my development, but I think it has gotten better, far better than it was at the initial onset. I haven't had a full blown manic episode in almost 4 years, and haven't had catatonic depression in a bit longer. If I feel a manic episode coming on or hypomania, I don't go along for the ride, and make sure to get enough sleep.
Falling into (mild?) bouts of depression, and feelings of urgency and helplessness have become more defining characteristics of the illness. Though this isn't ideal, it beats mania to the point of psychosis and depression to the point of disability. If it has gotten 'better' is aggressive treatment always the best option?
Do you attribute these last 3-4 months symptom free (more or less) to the Seroquel? I have a prescription, and though I'm not actively seeing a psy-doc, I am considering giving it a go. I'm still terrified by diving into an assortments of pills, So I am going to try to schedule with a psychologist today (as opposed to a psychiatrist). Last night I tried to educate my Dad on bipolar disorder with a helpful video I saw posted in these forums Bipolar Disorder: Dr. Patrick Mckeon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HByl6pCGEps) And it really confirmed what you said, "With respect to "help". You're on your own, like everyone else. Your family and friends won't understand, Doctors will lump consider the stereotype instead of you, and the general public has a very dim view of things." He responded to the video by saying "Well, this looks like a real fucking nightmare Eric, it looks like what? We need to start throwing seriously powerful psychotic medicines at you? Find some doctor to play lab rat with you?" "So what they'll give you some medication like, Zoloft, Like your Mom?" (My mom committed suicide shortly after beginning Zoloft) For him to throw that at me was... painful. Nonetheless all I can really do is move forward. That or wallow.
So I suppose the steps I will be taking: Continue diet and exercise Schedule with Psychologist Find Bipolar support group to gain further insight
Is there anything else I should add to my approach from your perspective? I do genuinely appreciate you taking the time to write such a detailed response.