I smoke a lot of weed. I'm difinitly an addict. I get withdrawals when I stop. I think about it almost constantly when I have it. But I control it. Because I can't control my life, but I can control this. I can control my usage.

I have the willpower and I use the willpower. And you have that inside you too. The alcohol has a grip on you, and you might find it hard to stop. But you can. And you will think about it, but choosing not to drink it will show you who you can. You can build your character, you can achieve and accomplish, but not drinking when you decide that you won't.

Sometimes things get so bad that an instant solution is what you need. Ive had a terrible day for no reason whatsoever and right now all I want to do is go and smoke my bowl. But you know what, it's all a trick.

Smoking weed, drinking, it's not an instant solution. It's just a delayer. And once we sober up we will have to deal with the shit we have been handed. You can't escape it, because when you sober up it will still be there.

What I learned from this is not to use my weed as a crutch, or as a coping mechanism for when things get too hard and I need an instant fix. Us it as a reward. Use it when you know for sure you are done for the day.

It's probably worse for you because alcohol borrows happiness from tomorrow. Hangovers suck.

But there is nothing wrong with failing. You have to understand that you are on a path to change, and change is not instant. Some days you will go to alcohol because you just need it. But you have to make sure that some days you don't give in. And it wil lget more and more that you don't give in, and you will grow as a person, and you can pat yourself on the back. You can say I didn't drink.

Because right now, you are dealing with depression. And depression is a cunt. But every time you go to the bottle you are letting it win. You are fueling your own negative feelings. You will get drunk and wake up the next day and feel bad and you know yourself, that's all on you. But adding in addiction, you're fighting two battles.

You can choose differently.

It's okay to fail sometimes.