Have you ever thought about just being in a monogamous relationship with someone? The poly stuff confuses me so much, because I could never imagine trying to be affectionate towards two/three/however many people and truly be comfortable with it and whatnot and vise versa (I get extremely jealous, I do not like sharing!). Or maybe it's something you realize you want? No offense just genuinely curious.

Personally, and I have no idea what he's like outside what you've said... But he doesn't sound like a nice person. I would never say something like that to my partner. Me and my husband have two different personalities - everyone does! But we compliment each other and share interests by wanting to do things together and learn about each other. And if he has outright told you that he doesn't want to marry you (and that's at all, I was always asking my husband about marriage years ago and he would always tell me "not now, soon :)"), that sounds like a done deal. Because the end result of a relationship to me anyway, is generally marriage.. And not in all situations of course, you can still spend your entire life with someone without marriage, but given the circumstances..

I would honestly if you haven't already, seriously ask him if he still wants to be in the relationship with you. Obviously you two are still together for reasons I don't know (being a stranger!) but it just seems really unnecessary that you're under so much stress from what he says to you, and I hope that you've made him aware of how it makes you feel. You shouldn't be stressed in a relationship, if you are and are trying to fix things, then I hope he is trying just as hard; and if he isn't putting in that effort the same you are...

And if you two haven't already tried (and succeeded?) doing things together that one of you likes to do and you still have nothing in common, it sounds like you're prolonging the inevitable. You say that you have a lot in common and share certain traits but then he doesn't? It just sounds really confusing and frustrating to deal with, and I would be telling him that it's not me acting like a child at this point.

And not saying you should say that haha!! It's making me frustrated thinking about it and I don't understand how someone could act that way, unless they honestly want out and don't want to deal with the result.

Sorry for the ramble, I don't want you to be in a bad spot and I'll always be here to talk if you need someone. And if you want to continue to talk about this with me then that's fine too ❤️