Nah, not really. I'm trying to think if there's ever been a time, but I don't think so.

I'm just stern with them without turning to fear tactics. I put my foot down, I let them know that I make the rules, but I explain that it's to keep them safe, all without yelling.

I don't want to make my kids feel ashamed of who they are, even if sometimes they feel ashamed of the things they've done. I've found that's the real difference. If you yell, they feel like a bad person, but if you're stern without yelling, they know that they just did a bad thing, but that they can do better. I try to teach them that they can always learn from mistakes, without yelling at them and making them feel like that's all they are.

Blame does nothing to help a situation. What you want to teach them is to take responsibility, not to feel bad for things.

In my parenting style I've gone for a more pragmatic approach. So rather than punishment, we go for self improvement. And you know what?

My parents screamed at my brother all his life. He stole 2 cars in high school, he became a drug dealer, and then as an adult he got into drugs because he hated himself.

My two kids are responsible. They've done things they knew were bad here and there, but they came to me about it. They have no built up shame from being made to feel like they were terrible people for their choices, because we teach them that you aren't your past choices, you're your current choices. Does that make sense?