Ugh. Reposting from my “work alt” because my comment was getting more upvotes than I had anticipated and it made me uncomfortable with all the shenanigans in my main. It just seemed disingenuous to post from this account but here we are. And I think op needs to hear this.

Hey there I wanted to add to my pm but I couldn’t because you didn’t reply so here it is in its entirety:

Hi there. I believe mental health is now accepted for Medical Assistance in Dying but I’m not sure what qualifies. If you have documentation showing you’ve attempted treatment to no avail perhaps they would consider it.

Alternatively, there are kits and instructions readily available online to go out painlessly with helium.

However I feel like this is not the information you are really looking for. I can’t give you the “it gets better” platitudes that I’m sure you’re inundated with but what I can tell you is this:

I am a suicide survivor in the sense I had a plan and date set with my mind made up. I didn’t do it. Years later when I look back at how intensely I had intended to end my own life I am terrified. Know that you could look back one day at this fear and regret and see it as positive reinforcement that these are often temporary feelings. Suicide is a permanent solution. I still struggle with my mental health but I am so thankful I didn’t do it.

I’m thankful for those moments of fear because I remember them when if I am ever in deep despair. When I experience that fear of “I was so close holy shit” I make a conscious effort to remember that feeling. I recall that feeling when I get close.