Hey Christy, Good Girl Gina ain't got nothing on you, you are the White Girl of my life:
It was at ____'s birthday party. I was the tall fat asian guy with glasses that looked like he didn't belong.
A lot of girls at the party rejected me when I asked them to dance. But then I saw you across the dance floor, you said yes and I pulled you to me.
Thank you for dancing with me. You are very skilled with your booty. You were able to move my weiner from the right side of my jeans zipper to the left side of my jeans zipper, and then back again to the beat of Snoop Dogg's 2008 classic, Sexual Explosion.
I apologize that I could not get an erection. I wasn't you, you were so fine and hot, it was me. You see I didn't know how to drink, and I couldn't find any shot glasses so I used the red cups as a measuring tool. If a red cup is 16 oz of fluid, I drank 28 oz of vodka in about 2 minutes. My weiner was not working.
You are also probably wondering why I kept touching your breasts in bursts of 3 taps during the dance. You see one of my colleagues received a blowjob from a transvestite and didn't know it until afterwards. I actually passed out during our time together on the dance floor and regained consciousness with tunnel vision and I could only see the top half of your butt and your lower back, I was very afraid that I may be dancing with someone I didn't remember asking to dance. You did not look like a man, but according to my colleague, neither did the transvestite.
I needed a way to distinguish your sex. I decided against reaching downstairs - that would be disrespectful, obscene, -even lil jon would only rap about playin' with a panty line; 369. I didn't want to go for a full grab upstairs without permission, that was against my nature and I was too drunk to conversate.
I thought, maybe a swift couple taps on the side of your lower chest area would be appropriate and if you were against it I would apologize and excuse myself. I did the deed and you were totally chill about it. I was so relieved. Now that you know you may ask, why I checked 6 more times?
Unfortunately I passed out again and had forgotten I already done the deed, but only remembered that I needed to check. I assure you this happened only 4 more times. On the 7th time I admit I remembered I had checked and realized you were okay with me on 2nd base so I did it again.
The Morning After
I woke up from the carpet feeling terrible, You slept over in a guest bedroom. When I saw you with your friend I asked you if I did anything bad last night. Your friend said I danced with you, I apologized and said I didn't remember. I remembered after a day or two, oh I remembered.
Anyways Christy, where ever you are, thank you again. I will never forget you and your straight long blonde hair. No matter how many friend zones I stuck myself into, my memory of you always gave me hope. What you did for me that night as helped me make new friends. I tell this story when I meet new people and all of them have liked me more because of it.
I hope you're happy right now, where ever you are Christy.