Read the two comments I left in this chain (the 2 very long comments): https://www.reddit.com/r/Catholicism/comments/dp6gaj/why_does_god_force_us_to_exist/f5tjt1j/?context=3

It doesn't directly apply to you, but I'm bad at writing quickly stuff that's both personally meaningful and compact in length, so I'm just gonna refer back to something else I wrote that does it for me. The basic idea is to treat your suffering with kindness. Obviously, you apply that to the suffering you already experience, but you can also apply that to the experience of doubt you have about whether you can live up to the same "holiness" as healthy, active people. Subtly, you're just doubting God's love for you, that it requires something particular for you to do to earn his approval. Perhaps, considering your circumstances, it's better to just continually learn how to love suffering, in all its various forms and nuances, like an old friend that's been long neglected because he's too ugly, weak, and doesn't perform to other people's standards. Suffer well for the sake of people who're barely able to hang on to life with even better life conditions than you. If you're main aim is just to perfect the spirit of love, everything else springs from that, including vocation. Love is the powering force behind vocation, and its end goal. Solve that and you've solved more than half the problem.