There’s finally hope for the niceguys of the world!!!

Bitter about what? I fucked the hottest chick in my school and the hottest babysitter for years. you won't believe me but it's true. Also converted a hot lesbian to straight dick and was engaged to a Brazilian model. I've also made over $100,000 a year working in my pajamas chain smoking weed not giving a fuck.

I'm not jealous of shit.

Again, you're gonna downvote this to hell and say I am lying, but, you know... sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

Oh and I don't have a human heart. And I was born without a butt hole. And I lived next door to an NBA player for decades who made like $7M a year in 90's money, $14M a year in today's money.

What else... I've smoked a joint with Michael Fassbender after watching him fuck a bunch of people on screen in Shameless.... What else...

I've told a billionaire he's an ass hole to his face- though I didn't know he was a billionaire at that moment.

What else..... what else....

I'm not lying or exaggerating about any of that.

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