I know, I totally respect her which is why I feel like a POS. I can't go to the backyard because it's small and the neighbors would see me, plus it's winter. The cost of rent is so fucking ridiculous these days, and I've been trying to find low income housing but they are ALL filled to the brim, some even have TEN YEAR waitlists.

But shit, everyone has their vices, things they do to make themselves feel better. Mine happens to be abusing substances, so what? I know it's unhealthy and she cares about my wellbeing, but shit, it makes me happy even if it's only temporarily and trust me I don't have many things in my life that make me happy. I can't wait until I can move out.