Anybody interested in trading cards,
please consider the following non-binding.
This offer is limited to the fifty United States
where USPS "Forever" postage stamps are valid.
This offer is valid only during the month of
January 2015, so that we (you and I) may gauge
what level of card-trafficking ensues. (We do not
want to be swamped with too many orders, in excess
of our ability to fill the orders.)
If you send me an ordinary Starbucks gift card
loaded with at least five U.S. dollars to support
my Starbucks addiction habit (plus at least
one paper U.S. dollar for the tip jar),
I will endeavor to send you TWO Seattle-origin
Starbucks gift cards (Space Needle; Reserve Roastery)
but with no money on
them (because I spent it on Starbucks coffee
and the New York Times :-) and therefore I
have dozens of Seattle-origin cards lying around.
If you are interested, please state so in a comment
here and await my go-ahead to send your card plus
the gratuity for the tip jar.
If you wish, you may wrap or enfold the card
inside ONLY ONE sheet of enveloping paper,
such as a photocopy of highlights from your
own Starbucks gift card collection. On the
back of said photograph or photocopy of your
very best and most collectible gift cards,
at your sole discretion you may write a
personal note about yourself and what you
have done to make the world a better place.
(You may write in English; German; Russian;
or ancient Latin.)
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to include
any obscene language or Where-is-George tip dollars.
Violation of these MOCKBA RULES may result
in calling off the for-you-potentially-very-lucrative deal.
It is all good fun and enjoyable pastime for us
to be trading baseball Starbucks cards back and
forth, but please consider
the lilies of the field why
this card-swap could be lucrative for thee and thine.
It is my intention (but not my obligation) to
send you not only the
Seattle Space Needle card
and the Starbucks Reserve Roastery & Tasting Room card,
but also a collectible envelope franked (that's
"stamped" for you U.S. Army drill sergeants and
other people I resent) with a historic and
mucho-collectibo Seattle-origin Jimi Hendrix
"Forever" stamp, and with the long-shot
Internet-famous IRL name of
hand-written on the delivery envelope,
so that you or your heirs may offer the
Net-famous autograph for sale on e-Bay.
Of course, this offer is obviously a
one-sided deal. I only collect Seattle-area cards,
and I am asking you to support my habit as
a coffee-drunk and a boulevardier hobnobbing
with my fellow perpetual students in attendance
at the Starbucks bachelor party held every weekday
at 10:00 a.m. in Starbucks Store #7941.
During the Year of the Horse (2014) I gave away
dozens of Starbucks gift cards pre-loaded
with five U.S. dollars, and now my finances
are depleted. To keep me in coffee,
and to possibly/hopefully receive back one-each Space Needle card
and Reserve Roastery card, please send
your ordinary card with a 5.00-minimum load alongside
at least one George Washington for the tip jar to:
Starbucks Card Collector
4555 University Way NE
Seattle, WA 98105