I've had a contentious relationship with my dad. I didn't even invite him to my wedding. He didn't pay child support for much of my growing up, luckily my grandparents helped. We'd see him for visitations, even though mom didn't have to, but she thought it was important. When my brother and I got old enough to make decisions like that, we both decided to step away. I'd touch base with him over the years, then we would drift apart again.

Then something clicked a few years back. My father was a Corpsman in Vietnam. He got a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star on the same day. They are trying to push through newly discovered paperwork for a Navy Cross he was recommended for a couple of days before that. The officer that put in that paperwork was killed right after the forms were filled, so there was no follow up.

When I think now, as an adult, of what that man went through, and how much it still affects him, in the form of PTSD and Agent Orange exposure, I understand him more now. Now I have as close of a relationship as I've ever had with him. He's also mellowed with age, and I've seen some dark times too, but we have a connection now. But I'm 47 and he's 70 with a bad ticker. He never really stepped away, I did. I didn't like the person he was. He's a different person now. I have him call or text me every morning to know he woke up OK and if he needs me to go help him with something. If I don't hear from him by 10am, I start blowing up his phone.

The child support thing, that's in the past. We survived it. All of the other stuff is in the past too. His dad walked out on his family when my dad was 6, and there was 5 mouths to feed. He didn't know how to be a dad. He had no example. I get that now.

I don't know how much longer I have with him, but I want to be around him now.