Things are looking up

Depends on what your horizon is. Some people are myopic and cannot see beyond 2 weeks into the future, others build empires spanning over decades.

2-3 weeks seems like a nice period, though, make sure to sustain the momentum. Allegedly, 21 days is enough time to form a new habit, but keep reinforcing your new patterns and with enough repetition, they will become a new, better "normal" for the both of you.

Also - if you haven't done it already, accept that the current efforts that you are both making - they are something that has to be a permanent part of your life now. Keep making those efforts as a current, ongoing thing, the therapy, any dietary and exercise efforts that you're probably making, all of it. If you have the idea that this is some pet project you can "complete" in order to fix things once and for all and afterwards you can relax and do nothing because the problem will be gone - yeah, that's the wrong idea, I'm sure you're beginning to realize this. More than likely, you will be able to improve things over time only if you fully adopt the changes in how both of you've been behaving, as your new way of living.

I have a very happy life with my partner. Yeah, some rough patches sometimes, but here is how I know we're doing good: if I try to remember the last time we fought or the last time I felt any hate inside - and if I honestly cannot recall it easily - it means I've been successful. Don't count weeks and months. That way, after the appropriate number of weeks and months (lol) you'll surprise yourself and discover that things have been much better for a while now, and solidly so. Track your progress in a journal and then a year from now, two years from now, you can go back across the pages and see before your eyes how far you've come. Good luck, OP, you're going to have a wonderful life!

/r/DeadBedrooms Thread