I'm not a Dany "cheerleader." You've simply constructed a character for Jon that doesn't exist. You want him to be some big strong manly or dominant guy, but he's not. He never has been. He's a quiet melancholic sort of guy that doesn't even want to be in the spotlight.
The character you've constructed for Dany also doesn't exist, like she's just some evil selfish person. She's neither of those things. And she's not going to "farm" him. It is extremely obvious that the show has them falling in love. There's no reason to assume she's going to command any sort of sole leadership position. There's no reason to assume she wouldn't be even more accepting once she discovers the truth about his parents.
A good Dany arc would have been for her to start out the season all arrogant and then end up by allowing the North to be independent.
Good to who? Your fantasy of Jon being some master dominating guy?
Which has nothing to do with the political settlement.
Then you've missed my point. My point was that the North is in no position to demand independence. Dany gave independence to the Iron Islands because they're useless anyway and were offering well above their weight in return (a fleet of ships in return for giving some worthless islands their independence). If Jon were some tough guy who demanded independence and wouldn't back down, the North is in such a weakened state Dany could take care of their armies in a day.
She is also not a hero. She expects everyone to grovel before her rather than accepting that perhaps she shouldn't be queen and that there shouldn't be an iron throne in general.
Perhaps you don't understand the way European monarchies worked. Your casting your own values about your own society onto Dany's views of Westeros. Dany, in her mind, has a blood right to rule the kingdoms, hence even brining up the initial pledge the Starks made hundreds of years ago. That has more legitimacy in her mind than your notions of whatever you think should replace the throne. The power of the throne is internalized to these people.
Your critiques of story arcs also has nothing to do with feminism. I don't feel Jon's S7 character is all that much different than his S1-5 character. He's a dumb hero that walks into harms way at every moment and doesn't want any of the spotlight. Tyrion's character isn't as interesting anymore, but it's largely because he's found his place. He's no longer the outsider trying to prove himself to the people that hate him. He no longer has to outwit people to survive. He's hand of the queen. His character is just boring now because his only enemy is Cersei.
And if you think Dany's character has deviated at all, she, you know, has always had three dragons and is supposedly the heir to the seven kingdoms. It's been that way since book 1 and season 1.