Mine may be an unusual case, but I have recently realized that my dad was emotionally absent throughout my childhood.
He was always THERE but he never participated in the family. Wouldn't attend get togethers or come on vacations, wouldn't even eat dinner with us the majority of the time. Very very few family pictures exist with him im them. He didn't do anything around the house, no chores. He just kind of locked himself in his room and watched TV all the time.
When he was "emotionally available" he would confide in me about issues he and my mom had in their marriage. He would give WAY more details than I needed at 8 years old, told me he hated her and couldn't wait to divorce her. He would tell me he hated my older half brother because he didn't want to raise another man's child. For the record, my parents are still married.
The list honestly goes on and I won't continue. I'll just say that my dad cannot be relied on to show up to anything or be apart of anything.
I've realized that this may have informed my previous relationships subconsciously. I dated one man for 6 years who was very present and authoritarian, but he ended up emotionally abusive. My last relationship was with a man who was childish and, looking back, I realize he was kind of emotionally checked out the whole time.
My parents are 13 years apart in age, my mom had a child already when she met my dad, and neither of them knew their fathers. So my life is better than theirs already and I am thankful that they have worked so hard in so many ways to provide stability. I am harboring some anger towards my father, as this is kind of a recent realization, that he was so absent from my life and then tried to turn me against my mom and brother, two of the people I loved more than anything as a kid. I wish my mom would leave him, I wish she left him a long time ago, but I am much more mad at my father. I don't even feel like i have a dad. Just some uncle or distant relative who lived with us.
And now that I acknowledge that, I really want to find a way to heal and repair the relationship (as much as I can).