Every fan of Nintendo liked amiibo a lot But the scalper sold them on eBay did not!
He hated amiibo! The thought left him seethin'! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be, perhaps, that he disliked all toys. It also could be that he was an XBox fanboy.
But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that his wallet was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, the toys or the cash, He stood there in line, preparing to dash.
All anxious and restless he sighed and he sulked, As he waited and waited for the coming of Shulk.
For he knew every fan of Nintendo was willing to buy Shulk on eBay, he'd make a killing!
"As they're refreshing the website," he snarled with a sneer. "It's 9:50 AM! He's practically here!"
Then he growled, his clammy fingers nervously drumming, "I must find some way to buy all the Shulks coming!
For, tomorrow, I know all the fangirls and boys Will give up on Shulk. They'll rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the cash! Oh, the cash! Cash! Cash! Cash! There's one thing I love! All the CASH! CASH! CASH! CASH!
And they'll complain and complain, but will pull out their cards, They'll pay me a fortune without any regard. They'll write posts on Reddit, but still pay me with credit. They'll display their dismay, but they will still pay. They'll cry, stomp, and pout, but they'll get their checks out. They'll shout and they'll thrash, but they'll still give me cash. And they'll pay so much money, when i paid fifteen for a silly old little NFC figurine! To think, there's so much money to be made To think, how much could he possibly be paid?
Then the fans, young and old, will come pick up their Shulks. And they'll pay! And they'll pay! And they'll PAY! PAY! PAY! PAY!
They'll pay for Wii Fit, and rare ol' Little Mac, Who saw one run and then never came back!
They'll pay for Pit and Marth, and of course Meta Knight, Who was Best Buy-only, and gave all fans a fright!
They'll pay for Villager, who came long ago, And was gone before they could ask "where'd he go?"
"And they'll buy! And they'll buy! And they'd BUY! BUY! BUY! BUY!" And the more he thought of this amiibo craze cha-ching, The more the scalper thought, "I must buy everything!"
Why for eighty-two days I've missed this cash cow! I must buy all the Shulks! Bu exactly how?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea! The scalper got a wonderful, awful idea!
"I know just what to do!" He laughed in his neckbeard. "I'll pre-order a hundred!"--just what the fans feared."
And he chuckled, and clucked, "I'll make a bunch of dinero! With all of these Shulks, I can't wait for tomorrow!"
"Now I need to pre-order." The scalper went online. But since there was a per-customer limit, he was now in a bind.
Did that stop the Grinch? Hah! The Grinch simply said, "I'll just make some more GS accounts instead!"
So he took a fake e-mail, he took a false cell. The only thing he kept was the address where he dwelled.
Then with each account he had made, his original too, He placed all his pre-orders--success, they went through!
Then the scalper laughed awkwardly, glasses drooping down his face, As he waited for all the Shulks to arrive at his place.
Soon the pre-orders closed. Shulk was off the market. The collectors all panicked--he wasn't even at Target! The scalper chuckled as he checked on his harvest.
"One-hundred Shulks," the scalper boasted aloud, He raised his Mountain Dew in the air, holding it up proud.
Then he logged onto eBay, he could hardly wait. To see what impatient collector would fall for his bait.
He already had an offer, and then soon two Then he had another, and another; he watched as they grew
He had buyer after buyer, after buyer after buyer "These prices," he said, "can only go higher!"
Then he sold and he sold, without a shred of regret, As he imagined piles of cash stacked higher than his head!
35, 40, 45, sold! 50, 55, 60, sold!
And he shipped them all poorly, sparsely wrapped and torn So they arrived to their buyers all beaten and worn.
Then he went back to eBay. He had 80 more to sell! He raised the price higher! He was doing quite well!
He sold another three as quick as a flash. Why, in a few minutes he had made quite some big cash!
Then he packaged the Shulk, quickly and with haste, "There are more to sell, I have no time to waste!"
As the scalper scoured eBay, he noticed a change, He had received an odd, foreign e-mail--how strange!
He opend the message, and what did he see? An e-mail from none other than Reggie Fils-Amie!
The message read, "Mr. Scalper on eBay, please understand, These amiibo you're selling are in very high demand."
But, you know, the scalper who was so slick and slimy, Was so sick of all the collectors whining!
"Why, that's why I'm selling these Shulks, after all, I don't care about "morals," no much how much they bawl.
I'm not really feeling like selling at cost. To lose out on all that money? What a loss!"
Reggie had no response, but to "please understand", because all of the amiibo were "in very high demand".
So the scalper continued to sell Shulks on eBay, Oh, how much more money would he make today?!
He sold five more Shulks by mid-afternoon, He would have sold half of them very soon! Almost fifty sold to Nintendo-fan loons!
With a satisfied smirk he began to wonder, "Why didn't I start scalping amiibo sooner?"
Then he planned to buy out other amiibo, All of Lucina, Ness, and maybe even Wario!
With less than half left, the scalper called it a day, He went to bed, wondering how much more people would pay.
He dreamt of waiting at Wal-Mart, deep in fresh snow, To buy up all of their new exclusive, Falco!
He dreamt of angry collectors leaving stores in a huff, Upon finding out that he had bought all the Jigglypuff!
He dreamt of drinking the tears of fanboys and their sobs, after he had pre-ordered all of TRU's R.O.B.s!
And then he awoke, it was morning already, He wondered how much money he had made--likely plenty! But when he logged on, what he saw made him... sweaty. Why, the scalper was absolutely appalled! Why, he had received not an offer at all!
How did every single Nintendo fangirl and fanboy, All decide not to buy not one of his toys?
He hadn't sold a single Shulk today! Not one! Even worse, he now was still left with a ton!
And the scalper, beady eyes on his feet below, Sat puzzling and puzzling. "How could this be so?
I'm not feeling it now! I never felt it at all! How could a toy so big make me feel so small?"
He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore. Then the scalper read something he hadn't before.
Now Gamestop had put Shulk back on the website! And worse, fans could still order him in stores on-site!
And what happened then? Well, amiibros, they say That the scalper got his just desserts that day!
For he could not return all the Shulks he had bought, Without a receipt, the money was all but lost!
And now that his wallet felt looser than before, The scalper cried and then fell to the floor.
With tears in his eyes and sadness in his heart, he sat there, all alone, sniffling in the dark.
Then something strange happened, an oddity beyond belief, that made the scalper suddenly snap out of his grief.
His computer screen glowed; something--someone was coming free! It was none other than Reggie Fils-Amie!
The scalper was shocked, and scared beyond belief, "Oh," he worried, "what will Reggie do to me?"
"Please understand," said Reggie to the scalper, "But it is now time for you to meet your maker."
"No!" the scalper screamed, "my body is not ready!" But Reggie did not listen, for he had started already. Reggie's body began to glow brightly, and with a loud boom, The light quickly filled up the entire room.
When the light disappeared, nothing was to be found. The room was empty and silent, not a single sound.
Some say that today, if you listen really hard to the breeze, you can hear the scalper's two final words: sakurai pls