Thoughts on dating in your 20s

I was blown away because at the time he was 19 years old, 6’4, fit, dark hair and blue eye aka gorgeous

Most guys aren't tall, dark, and handsome like your husband.

I'm assuming you're pretty attractive OP since you managed to land a guy like that.

Perhaps that is why you don't understand why dating is so hard, because both you and your husband are attractive.

Attractive people, hell any woman who is average looking have no idea what dating is like for the average man or for an unattractive woman.

Not bashing you or your husband saying you're bad and if my post sounds snarky I don't mean it.

However I am pointing out that attractive men and average looking women have an enormous privilege in the dating world and privilege blinds people to realities and experiences faced by other people. It's as if you live in an entirely different reality than the rest of us.

I would love to help my friends be more confident

In my opinion you'd be doing them more of a favor if you just sympathized and listened to them when they talk about dating.

Maybe it's just me, but I can't help but laugh to myself a bit when attractive people used to try to give me more confidence when it comes to dating. Their hearts are in the right place so I don't hold it against them for trying, but they have no idea what dating is like for an average looking guy or an unattractive woman and they never will. It would be like a rich white person trying to understand what life is like for a poor black person in America, they aren't going to understand it.

A telling sign that someone is privileged in the dating world is when they believe all it takes to succeed is to 1. Wear fitting clothes 2. Exercise a bit 3. Groom yourself 4. Be decent at socializing

Lots of guys are all 4 of those things and we still have a hell of a time getting any dates at all from women. It really isn't just that easy and fuck I'm a rich guy. I can't imagine what it is like for guys who are even less attractive than me and have no money at all.

People tell me I got “lucky"

Yes you are lucky:

  1. You are attractive
  2. Your husband is 6'4 and handsome, the vast majority of guys are not and lots of women hold it against guys when they aren't 6 feet tall.
  3. You're lucky that you happened to bump into him.
/r/dating Thread