Isn't it more societal expectations of certain genders, rather than elements of the genders? I always thought toxic masculinity referred to societal expectations of men that is ultimately harmful to men or society. For example- the belief that childrearing is a feminine endeavor and if men are hands on or stay-at-home parents, they are less masculine than their working, more aloof counterparts. This societal expectation (which is thankfully changing) ultimately harms Dads and families. So society expects men to work and be the bread winners, while women mind the house, even if in that couple, the man would be the better full-time parent and the women would be the better wage-earner. In this instance, the societal expectation harms that family by forcing them to adhere to gender roles that are not a good fit for them, personally. That, to me, is what toxic masculinity is- requiring men to fill a role or perform a role as an expectation, even if it isn't what that individual man would want, or be good at.